You Think The Weather's Bad Here !

Brits are always complaining about the weather but hey, at least we're not in France today !
They are suffering from fireballs and spontaneously exploding cars due to extreme low pressures. Diesel cars will be OK provided they are able to avoid the fireball showers.
C'e La Vie !

WEATHER FORECAST FOR PERVERTS

Golden showers

WEATHER FORECAST FOR SUFFERERS OF SEVERE FLATULENCE

Windy

WEATHER FORECAST FOR WITCHES

Sunny spells

Outrageous Weather Warning !

Yes, at last you will all be saying to yourselves, outrageous weather has been reported off Algra's weather station in Weatherspoons, St Agnus so it will sweep across the country in the next few hours, minutes or yesterday, depending upon when you read this weather report.
The outrageous weather is fronted by a high pressure orbital and is accompanied by a swarm of angry bees from Greenland. We recommend Algra's all weather cream to protect you from our summer weather mix of sun, rain, wind and bee sting.
The outrageous weather is expected to pass by and we'll be back to normal weather at all again by next weekend.

MORE WEATHER ON THE WAY

More weather is on the way, warn meteorologists yesterday.

The weather is difficult to predict, although it is highly likely that at some time over the next few weeks, we are likely to experience similar weather conditions to those since records began.

It could be bright, it could snow, it might be sunny, or it could cloud over and rain. There might be wind, it could be still. But it is possible that we may endure any or all of these conditions over the next few weeks.

Predicting the weather is a very difficult concept, you just can't say for sure what's gonna happen. Maybe we should all keep our fingers crossed.

Weather is expected to cover the globe throughout the week. Freak weather conditions are expected in places that are prone to freak weather conditions and which occur on a regular basis.

Apparently there are four seasons in a year and the weather just might have something to do with them. Scientists are currently researching this topic and we will bring you the results of their groundbreaking findings on the local village green this weekend.*


*Indoors if wet.

Weather News

The weather is all going away in the next few days, the Met Office are announcing today. "We've had our share of weather in the last couple of weeks" said Professor Fock Itzwaneing.
The weather is expected to go next Tuesday at 9:30am and is not due to return until September. "I've never known there to be no weather at all but I'm looking forward to it." Prof Fock said.