BE PREPARED FOR SOME WEATHER


Meteorologists warned against going out yesterday, due to prevailing weather conditions. 'There will be weather' said science boffins at the institute of weather this morning, 'people with skin conditions should be careful as the weather looks set to continue indefinitely.'

When asked about prevailing north-easterly winds, areas of low pressure, high humidity and heavy localised flooding, our expert replied 'what the fack are you going on about?'

Tomorrow's forecast: More facking rain